The Suffering Messiah 3 "Betrayal"

Dan Allender summarizes the shock, pain and confusion of betrayal that sends us:

“Reeling from the past to the future like a bouncing pinball – from terror to regret.

Betrayal stalks and haunts. It turns the past into a long series of questions and doubts.

Betrayal isolates.

It takes us to the end of a long, lonely dirt road and unceremoniously dumps us without

provision or promise of help…    (The Healing Path)


Jesus’ knew we would experience the soul-searing pain of betrayal. He knew wives would be betrayed by their husbands – and husbands by their wives. Jesus knew that men and women would be ripped off by those managing their retirement accounts and pensions. And He knew that it would take our breath away, sucking the wind out of our sails of hope, shipwrecking us on the island of brokenness and self-doubt. Christopher Blake tells us that an affair is not ‘making love.’ He describes what is really being made:

“When two people have made sex outside of marriage, to be truly accurate we sadly need to describe what else they were probably making. They were making tears. There were making lies. They were making guilt. They were making regrets. Because these are what accompany the mere making of sex without the responsibility and depth and nourishment of committed love…. (Christopher Blake) (italics ours)


Every woman I’ve prayed with has asked the same question, in one form or another, when she discovers that her husband is seeing another woman and/or looking at pornography: “Why am I not good enough?


After the initial shock begins to wear off, every person who has been betrayed is tempted by Satan to protect themselves from being hurt again. He whispers in that woman’s ear,

  • “You can’t forgive or trust your husband”
  • “You can’t trust men”
  • “You cant trust God because He allowed you to feel this horrible, heart-breaking pain”
  • “You can only trust your anger to protect you from being hurt again.”


Jesus knows all of this. So He chose to fulfill prophecy, being betrayed:


Because Jesus chose to trust His Father with all the pain and agony in His heart, He has earned the right to:


Below is a sample prayer:

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for choosing to feel the deep, soul-searing pain of betrayal, with all the temptations to trust in Your own strength, Your own anger to protect yourself. And turning to Your Father instead, embracing all my pain and anger, so You can heal me and set free to receive my truest, deepest identity as Your son/daughter.”

In Your name, Jesus, Amen.


This prayer can bring healing to hearts wounded by betrayal. Now the question is, what about the betrayer? The person who has sinned against someone else? How can Jesus, our “Suffering Messiah” connect His perfect, spotless life with the darkness of selfishness that leaves the sinner feeling dirty, unclean, hopeless and worthless?


We will begin to unfold this and more in our upcoming posts. Stay tuned!